We have all asked questions we didn’t like the answers to, yet we asked them anyways. Check out this list of 4 commons questions we wish we never asked our partners, from our friends at YourTango, here…
1. “Why don’t you ____ anymore?”
It is helpful to talk about specific behaviors with your partner, but you put him or her on the defensive when you use an accusatory tone and allege that this thing (that you desire) never happens. It usually isn’t true and comes off as nagging or desperate. Be sure to acknowledge it when your partner does what you like and appreciate—even it it doesn’t happen as often as you’d like. Do say to your beloved something like, “I love it when you hold my hand when we’re out together.”
2. “Is she pretty?”
You might not consider yourself to be a jealous person, but if a question like this comes out of your mouth, think again. You put your partner in an impossible position when you ask something like this. Will you even believe what he (or she) responds? Will a “No” quell your worries and insecurity? When you’re tempted to ask this kind of a question, pause and go within to soothe the stories of not being good enough that you may be telling yourself.
3. “Do I look fat in this?”
This may sound like a stereotypical question, but it’s possibly one you’ve posed to your partner before. It’s another impossible question because it’s usually about you and your self-criticism and doubt. There is no “safe” answer he (or she) can give you. No matter what your partner says, you’re still going to feel self-conscious and ugly if that’s the belief you have about yourself.
4. “What’s wrong with you?”
It’s frustrating when the one you love is acting quiet or weird and you have no idea why. Your partner’s withdrawal from you can seem like a rejection. Instead of demanding to know why your partner is not his or her usual self, take a moment (and a deep breath) and get clear. Maybe you already know what this change in mood or behavior is about but you’re overlooking the obvious or maybe you don’t know. Different questions like, “How can I help?” or “I love you and I am here to listen if you want to talk” are much more effective ways to invite your partner to open up to you.
Dissolve the tension and distance by choosing what you say from a place of honesty and kindness.
Related Links:
5 Tips To Spark Your Sex Life Up AGAIN!
Male Translations: What Men REALLY Mean
Dirty Little Secrets Behind Modern Dating Revealed
Female Translations: What Women REALLY Mean
